carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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