Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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