People with herpes should wear stickers.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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