I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
