i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
