dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
