Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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