I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
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Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
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Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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