I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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