if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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