Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
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At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
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Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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