I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
