Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
