just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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