This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
