Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
