You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
