I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
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