It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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