he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
