wrigley field is MILF paradise
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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