Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
