I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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