I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
