The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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