Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.