then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
That's what I'm talking about
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.