Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She tied me up with her honor cords...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
