Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
