I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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