Me. At least after what I've been through.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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