I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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