Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
