So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
