Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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