i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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