Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
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We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
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I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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