So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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