So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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