I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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