Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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