Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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