I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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