How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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