The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I need moral support for this bender
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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