i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
MIDGETS
????
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
