The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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