just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
