There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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