Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize