so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
