did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
