There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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