he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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