party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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