So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
