Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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