maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
