i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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