Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
