we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We don't watch enough power rangers
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
