Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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